Over time, giving birth is not only “birth” but also “raising and teaching well”.

Mai Tu is a mother in her 30s, living with her husband and daughter in Zhejiang (China). Although her life is not abundant, it is warm and happy. However, everything changed because of the pressure to have more children from her mother-in-law.

Her mother-in-law used the excuse of having a son to succeed and advised her to have more children. At first, Mai Tu did not agree, but under the soft persuasion mixed with coercion of her mother-in-law, along with the promise “to help take care of the child and support the purchase of a house”, Mai Tu finally gave in.

Soon, Mai Tu was pregnant with twins, and they were also two boys. The whole family was overjoyed as if opening a festival. On the day Mai Tu was born, Mai Tu’s mother-in-law was moved to tears, hugging her grandchild every day. But that joy did not last long. Not long after, her mother-in-law complained of tiredness, then flatly left for her hometown.

At the end of her month, Mai Tu has become a “super mother”, taking care of three children alone. Although her husband still works to earn money, because of his busy work, he cannot help with housework.

One day, because she was so sad to go to the toilet that she couldn’t bear it, Mai Tu asked her 5-year-old daughter to look after the two full-term children. She didn’t expect that just a few short minutes would lead to an accident.

Because there was no other way, Mai Tu had to let her 5-year-old daughter take care of 2 newborns

Hearing the sound of crying and screaming, Mai Tu panicked and ran into the room to see a newborn lying on the floor, her head swollen red. She panicked, her whole body trembling.

The daughter cried while explaining: “I’m crying, I want to carry you to find my mother, but I can’t hold you…”.

Although the baby was not hurt, Mai Tu was still scolded by her husband’s family

Fortunately, after going to the hospital for examination, the baby was not seriously injured. But what made Mai Tu more heartbroken was her mother-in-law’s reaction. She didn’t ask her daughter-in-law a question, but immediately shouted: “What kind of mother are you? Is there a baby who can’t even look at it? If my nephew is hurt, will you be able to pay for it?”

Faced with unreasonable reproaches, Mai Tu felt sorry for herself and helpless, only laughing at herself: “It’s all because I’m too stupid, I believe in your promises.”

Taking care of many children alone, how can the mother not be exhausted?

Taking care of many children alone at the same time is extremely hard. Having to take care of the baby and pay attention to the emotions of the older child, many mothers are exhausted both physically and mentally. In this situation, in addition to regulating emotions, the mother needs to have reasonable methods and skills.

Clear timetable and reasonable assignment

Proper time arrangement is the key to helping mothers save energy. Setting a fixed schedule for activities such as eating, napping, bathing, and playing for each child will reduce chaos and help children form regular habits.

If your older child is old enough, you can assign him some simple tasks such as taking diapers and holding a bottle, which both reduces the burden on his mother and helps her feel more responsible.

Safety first, prevention before it happens

In the process of taking care of children, safety is always the top priority. The house needs to be equipped with barriers and barriers to avoid impacts, and the child’s bed must have barriers to prevent the baby from falling.

Chemicals, medications, or small dangerous objects should be kept out of the reach of children. If you have to leave the room for a short period of time, make sure your child is in a safe place or use devices such as child monitors to assist.

Caring for children’s emotional and psychological health

In a family with many children, the psychological needs of children are easily ignored, especially older children, who may feel “abandoned” when they have more children.

Take time every day to tell stories, play with older children, and strengthen the connection between mother and child. At the same time, with small children, regularly hug and caress them so that they can feel their mother’s love.

Raising children is an extremely hard job (Illustration)

Seek outside support, don’t try to carry the burden

No mother is superhuman. Finding timely support is crucial. If there are grandparents who help take care of the child, even if it is only for a few hours, it will also help the mother have time to rest.

If financial conditions allow, it is possible to hire a childcare support person or join local childcare experience exchange groups to share and support each other.

Leverage technology and tools to increase efficiency

Today, there are many “technologies” that support child rearing, such as baby monitors, automatic feeding machines, or lullabies, which greatly reduce the mother’s work.

In addition, mothers can apply “bulk” breastfeeding, such as feeding or bathing two babies at the same time, to save time and increase efficiency.

Take care of yourself, don’t forget yourself

In the pressure of raising children, the easiest thing to ignore is the mother’s emotions and health. Many mothers always “put their children first” but forget that they also need to rest and unwind. Learn to share, whether with your husband or friends, or through journaling and reading books to adjust your mood.

Even just 30 minutes a day to drink a cup of hot tea or watch your favorite movie can help reduce anxiety and fatigue. If you feel unbearable, don’t try to strain yourself. Give your child to a trusted person to look after for a while, go out for a walk, relax, sometimes that is also the best way to take responsibility for your child.